Can you love someone who doesn't love you back? If you love someone, but they don't love you back, is that still love or just an obsession?

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The latter suggests that they don't know how you feel, and if they did, there's at least the possibility of reciprocity. I even went out on my first date with a girl who's one of the sweetest person I've ever met in my life. The most difficult thing, it seems, is being able to admit when your love is going nowhere. And do it with dignity, with your head held high, and with your heart in one piece.

This could mean a friend that you know won't try to speed up your healing. In this Article: When you love someone and they don't love you back, it can feel like your world is ending.

10 Signs You Don't Love Someone As Much As You Thought You Did

Did you stop pursuing or keep pushing forward. And if so, how far did you take it. I recently spoke with Lisa for an in-depth interview for the School of Psych podcast. Unrequited love is incredibly common, Lisa says. She cites estimates that over 90% of people have had some experience with it at least by their early 20s. The good news is that you're not alone, but the bad when u love someone and they dont love u back is that what you may feel is a uniquely amazing, special, and unique star-crossed love that no one else could possibly understand really isn't. It takes an active mind to stay connected to a passive partner. So much of unrequited love is about indecision and unwillingness to walk away despite all the red flags and warning signs. This could be overmessaging texting, emailing all the timesnooping, or even downright stalking behavior. Lisa shares the story of former astronaut and jilted lover who drove almost a 1,000 miles in an apparent attempt to confront and kidnap a rival for her former lover. Finally, unrequited love changes us, sometimes for worse, but sometimes for better. The difference between tragedy and transcendence. It's all in how you approach it. How can you make the most of your unrequited love experience. Phillips and more on Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession by listening to episode 1 and subscribing to the. For more insightful interviews and stories about psychology, culture, and relationships, and information on how to listen and subscribe to the School of Psych podcast, visit. Or, visit my professional page over at What do you do when every time you love someone it is unrequited. I'm a 22 year old male and every time I have liked a girl she hasn't felt the same way. Sometimes I had very intense feelings for them. In one case it took years for me to stop feeling like I was cheating on her if I looked at another woman, even though I knew full well she had no feelings for me. I've never done anything like was mentioned above aside from maybe too many texts from time to time, but it is nonetheless extremely frustrating. A lot of us measure a person's social skills by whether their love is requited. It feels like we are all in a big competition to see who is the interpersonal best. And if we can't get successful requiting, we can't prove we're good with people. And we lose out in the competition, possibly getting a rep as a failure at life. No gasoline on the obsessed flame of thwarted love there. Lack of requitement does not mean lack of people skills, and the two should absolutely not be conflated because it completely leaves out the fact of each person being of free agency, with free choice. We insist that we must have one person among billions of people in the world. It undermines your health, and possibly the other person's health. You really do believe you'd be lost without that specific person. Why wouldn't another person have just as much to give. No thoughts about the departed person, no connection with the departed person, and no misery about the departed person. There really are plenty of fish in the sea. I fell for someone who at first, claimed to love me. After a month-long romance, I was being ghosted. For the next 9 yrs I never failed to send a birthday card, although I began to have second thoughts. She replied, we picked up where we left off, and once again after 6 months this time she drop kicked my heart into a food processor. This time the pain was so great I was hospitalized for my safety. The experience had permanent effects on my personality and outlook. After the death of my long time girlfriend, you-know-who emerged again. However, after a night of romance, I didn't feel very bad when, as you guessed it, Ms. When u love someone and they dont love u back still, deep down care for her, but after being put through the mental wringer, I am now, to my own detriment, very careful as to who I let down my emotional armor to. I also sport a broken heart tattoo over my heart to remind me of how little regard certain people can have of others emotions. Obsession should not be there in love, as both are contrary by nature. While love makes and blooms relations forever, obsession destroys. Obsession pretty well follows infatuation, while oneness even though not together follows love. One reason is that I have trouble feeling attracted to someone who isn't responsive and communicative and making me feel that I'm in their sphere of eroticism. I'm not quite sure how you can feel attracted to someone who's rejecting you. Rejection feels bad, and would seem to destroy any warm feelings you could have for someone. So it seems to me that people who end up with unrequited love are ones who don't require a feeling of admiration or sexual interest in return. And when it gets to the sexual stage, I've seen it written several places that people get turned on by seeing their partner turned on. Well, if it's unrequited love, you're not going to see your partner turned on. Besides, it's a big ocean, and there's always somebody else. In fact, so many people don't want to commit because they feel there might be someone better. So I personally don't really understand the unrequited love hangup. I have dealt with unrequited love in my past, falling in love with men who were indeed very sexually attracted to me. Men have the ability to detach sex from love very readily and it is confusing to women to be desired in one manner, but not fully worthy of love. None of the men I loved rejected me sexually and to this day, probably if I reached out to them and asked for sex, they'd say yes. If I asked for emotional support. I'd be ignored or pushed away. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three 3 years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. His email is lordnoblespellcaster hotmail.

When you start taking an interest in what everyone else has been doing you'll find that you're well on your way into the healing process. If you haven't left your house in weeks, you aren't showering, and you're wearing that ratty old sweatshirt that should really just be burnt, you've gone overboard. Hopefully that person you fell for will love you too. And in the meantime, we fill ourselves up so that we have the serenity and joy — so we can step into savoring the waiting, instead of dreading it. Rejection can convince you that your nasty inner critic was right all along. You can cry over giving up the mementos, but it's an important step in the healing process. No gasoline on the obsessed flame of thwarted love there! Sometimes people refuse to move on because they think that they haven't tried hard enough. Phillips and more on Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession by listening to episode 1 and subscribing to the! Romantic love is what turns our imaginations on high and makes it impossible to start thinking about that one special person.